Mark S, London
"So, this one fact has proved to myself that Tapping works and I have removed these long standing negative affirmations that led me to be a social smoker. I no longer need it's comfort. And I didn't have to do a thing about it." Click to Read More
Choosing a Good Therapist
I often find I have to try a couple of therapists in each therapy before I find one I like. Here are some pointers on how to know when you have found a good therapist, whatever the therapy, and some tips to find them first time.
- Do you leave feeling better than when you arrived? This is the golden rule. Surely you don't go to therapists to make you feel worse?!
If you leave your psychotherapist's office feeling worse, it's time to find a new psychotherapist - or a new therapy. If you leave your hypnotherapist feeling spaced out, that hypnotherapist didn't bring you back into the world properly and you shouldn't trust them. Trust your own feeling instead. It doesn't mean that that particular therapy doesn't work, it means that that therapist wasn't right for you.
- Do they make you drink a LOT of water? Successful therapy makes the brain and body work hard to let go of issues. Whether you see this as moving chi or rewiring neural connections, it takes a lot of water.
During sessions, if things are changing you should be continuously drinking water and the therapist should insist that you continue drinking a lot of water afterwards.
The exception is physical therapies where you aren't in a position to do this. In this case they should insist that you are well watered before and after.
- Do they make sure you take deep breaths? Just as you need water during therapy, you also need oxygen. It's normal to find yourself yawning or taking deep breaths normally as you let go of things.
Good therapists spot the need for you to take a minute and do a breathing exercise.
- Are things dealt with as they emerge? Probably, you are aware of many of your problems. However sometimes therapy unearths problems you didn't know you had. If these aren't dealt with immediately, the therapist is doing you a disservice.
Again the exception is physical therapies like massage or craniosacrotherapy. Sometimes issues will be brought into your awareness as the relevant parts of the body in which they are stored are handled. In this case you can handle them via a counselling-style therapy.
- Does the therapist seem happy and sorted out? If your therapist is miserable and ill, it's a good sign that their therapy didn't work for them, so it makes no sense to expect it to work for you. As a therapist, you can't heal someone if you have the same problem, as you won't be able to see through it.
- Does the therapist estimate a few hours of work as opposed to a few years? Different therapies take different amounts of time to deal with the same problem. Experienced therapists usually have a good idea of how long it will take so you can usually trust their estimate.
A friend of mine was told by a psychotherapist that her anorexia could take five years of psychotherapy to deal with, and even then, she may not be completely over it. She went to see a kinesiologist, who said it might take 2 sessions. It took one.
So the question becomes, how much time do you want to spend in therapy? It's important to spend a certain amount of time examining and learning from your problems, but it's also important to live your life.
- Do they come personally recommended? Every patient has different needs, but generally a personal referral is the best advance indicator of a good therapist.
- Do they work in an established healing centre? There are plenty of centres offering a wide variety of therapies, and they are careful to keep a good reputation and hold their therapists to very high standards.
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